It is a terrible day in American history: The Great Bass Pig has had nasty neighbors move in within close proximity to his Lair. For fifty years, this desolate mountaintop spot was home to the Bass Pig's Lair. But this past summer, someone bought the forest across the road and started clearing land.

They built "McMansions", the first one sold in late September. The new neighbors are not friendly at all. And when I listen to music at the levels I have enjoyed for at least forty years, they call the cops. Mind you, this was at 5:30PM on a Friday afternoon. Another neighbor was operating a big backhoe and moving logs and rocks around at the time, so there was already noise going on in the neighborhood.

Fortunately, the officer was very nice and he even liked the Jazz that I was playing at the time, but the request to 'turn it down a bit' really raises my ire. One doesn't drive a Ferrari to drive at 55mph. I have no intention of curtailing my once or twice a month hour or two of selected music listening for the sake of a haughty former New Yorker who thinks he can move into my forest and dictate how I listen to music. It's not like I do it to the wee hours of the morning every night. It's a rare occurrence when I have the house alone and the rest of the family is out shopping at the mall.

This is a redneck area. A few cabins in the woods, a lot of self sufficient types. And then a builder comes in and puts in these out of place upscale houses, which attract the wrong type of people. Yeah, THOSE kinds.. the stuck up, class-divided types, who expect everything and everyone to conform to them. The new neighbors obvious hate us and don't like the 'tarpaper shack' that I live in across the road from where they built. But hey, if they don't like the smell, why move next to a hog farm? They don't even wave to us when they come and go. And they bring a lot of traffic and noise that we never had before.. garbage trucks, gas trucks, frequent deliveries, etc. My peace and quiet is also ruined by them.

So now, every time I listen to music, I will have to be interrupted by a visit from the police. Oh, and they're not my town, either, for the road is a county line and a town line. Our town has no noise ordinance. Maybe that's why the officer was so friendly. I reminded him that it was a Friday and before well 10pm (about 5:40PM actually) and that I have listened to music at these levels for forty of the fifty years that I've owned this property.

It is very disappointing that I have this, er.. neighbor, across the road now. Not only do I have to put up with his traffic and the sight of that house that mars the natural view of the forest (I hate McMansions with the phony porticos and pretend neo colonial look), but that person hasn't the decency to be a proper neighbor and at least approach me in a friendly way about it and possibly come to some agreement. No.. instead his first action is to call the police and complain. I'm very tempted to put on some of the worst RAP at 9PM just to spite them.

My investment in a 17,000 watt sound system is so that I can enjoy BASS. That interlopers move into my territory and expect me to change my ways is, unrealistic. A war is coming. I reckon next weekend they'll call the cops again, and it will escalate. I have no intention of curtailing my enjoyment. Their very presence offends my senses, and their fancy real estate will increase my taxes as well.

So what do you 'Bass Pigs' do about new neighbors that don't conform to your way of life?